It’s the lying back…it takes a while you see; to truly trust the sea.
For me it happens slowly — inch-by-inch — that relaxing my body into water. As it gently laps against my face I am still aware of tension in my neck, conscious that I am holding my head defiantly; resisting ultimate conclusion.
With a desire for harmony, first I stretch out my legs and watch my toes float up. Keeping my arms gently waving at my sides I stay there for a moment… half fighting, half giving over, knowing that I desperately want to surrender but never finding the right moment.
After a while I know it’s time and as I let my neck relax fully, all pressure releases and I float backwards. My ears begin to fill; slowly at first and then in that final moment — that ultimate giving over — completely, until there is a soft muffled pop and I am there:
Total and utter release, pure silence, serenity. My body motionless, my arms still, I am aware only of the gentle water, the deep heartbeat of the sea. We are in unity… and I am free.
Floating there I know that in life, too, I must remember to trust more, let things flow over me, for it is futile to try and control destiny. I ponder about contentment being achieved only when we become totally and utterly unafraid of the giving over of ourselves.
The Swim